What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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