isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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