Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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