There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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