hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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