It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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