why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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