we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish they made helmets for livers.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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