At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
