This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
