i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
