butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need to sanitize my soul.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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