Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
