Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
