My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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