Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
