i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
