Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
