You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
