oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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