I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
