dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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