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Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
