remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
