Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
