Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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