love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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