sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize