i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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