I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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