Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
