we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
