Soap is not a condiment
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
