Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
