You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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