3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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