you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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