he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
