I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
