I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
porn star boner night. come get it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
