escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
