I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
