he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
