My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
