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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.

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• (916): View more from California

  I'm back here naked if anyones wondering

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.

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• (772): View more from Florida

  The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.

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• (925): View more from California

  Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.

  (1-925): View more from California

  Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?

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• (951): View more from California

  she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.

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