she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
