i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I fill condoms, not promises.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize