Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wish I only lived at night.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
