we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
