Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Pooping to opera.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
