get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
