Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
