Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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