So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize