Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
