so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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