I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
