Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
