We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
