belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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