Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
