i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
