do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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