There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
