What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
