Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
