Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
