I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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