omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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