Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
